The Rest of the Story

“The first five years of your marriage will be the hardest, If you survive them, everything will get easier”.

Five years into our marriage I found myself BROKEN. I was living in a foreign state (virtually no support system) with a new infant, who seemed to cry more and grow faster than any infant I had ever encountered. There was never enough money. And as for marriage? Well there wasn’t much time to even think about it but it felt like a never ending uphill strain toward a finish line I couldn’t even see. We were at year five though. I remember thinking that often. Year five! Everything was supposed to be a downhill stroll now, right? Pretty soon, everything would get easier, right? Um, no. Sorry naïve, little girl. If someone were to show me a timeline of our life from year 5 through year 15 it could look something like this…

baby, cross-country move, financial strain, difficult pregnancy, baby, cross-country move, first home, difficult pregnancy (bedrest for 6 weeks), premature and sick baby, mother diagnosed with cancer, cross-country traveling with three young kids to see mother, financial strain, mother loses her battle to cancer, difficult pregnancy (bedrest for half of pregnancy), new baby, second home…

No, there wouldn’t be a magic year when life would just let us stroll downhill. Society had lied to me. If I had the perfect man and we were educated… If we dressed well and collected pretty things… If we were responsible with our money and had a good home before the birth of our first child life… No, life would not just get easier. I could not fill the hole in my soul with an education, pretty things, a husband, a home or a baby. So I found myself desperate for answers.

My answer came in the form of another young mother stumbling along on her own difficult journey. Her stumbling didn't seem to be quite as debilitating as mine though, she had peace and grace. She was calm. Something was just different. This young mother invited me along on her journey. She invited my broken mess into her home. She invited us to the zoo. She took my crew to MOPS and to church with her. Along the way she introduced me to Jesus. She didn't have to open her Bible, though she would as we would begin to study the Word together. She just walked closely with Jesus and invited me along.

God is so patient. I had grown up in the church, I knew who Jesus was, but I didn’t really know Him. I was stubborn. I was sure I would be able to rock this life all on my own. It was just a matter of good choices. So the Lord in his patient kindness allowed me to make those choices and waited, arms open until I came up empty. He knew I would need a savior when my poor choices left me grief stricken and sent Jesus. He knew I would need answers when marriage and parenting left me broken and sent the Bible. He knew that the way to this stubborn girl’s heart would be through the hands of a friend.

I’m so grateful He knew. Jesus would be the faith that would save our marriage. He would be the answer to financial strain. Jesus would be the salve to my mourning soul when I lost my mother. He would give us the grace to survive the next decade and beyond. And the glory of the rest of this story would be His. The reason our little life story looks like this: Girl+Boy=Farm and not like the scary timeline at the top of this page is because He was present. The events remain the same, but the purpose does not. The purpose would become seeking more of Him and His glory in the rest of the story.