Winter

Winter rages.  It gnaws and wears long on my soul freezing me to numbness.  The bitter cold cracking me open to allow my own scorching sin to boil to the surface.  Pride.  Anger.  Entitlement.  All hidden there waiting to remind me how fast I can fall, just how great my need is.  Who will save me from myself?

This is uncomfortable to admit; how dissatisfaction can destroy our days.  They say a mother sets the tune in her home, but it is not always a soft melody.  Complaints and grumbling.  I am confronted by my reflection.  Now to admit that I am to blame.  I turned my back to Him.  I nailed Him to the cross.  I crucified my Jesus.

Where is hope in the dark of winter?  Did He truly choose me anyway?  Choose the way of love and forgiveness despite my ugly?  Yes. Yes.  A thousand times he whispers yes. He has chosen me.  He has chosen you.  We can open hope when we open His Word.  I will repent and I will cling to this.  Spring will arrive.  The sun will split the sky once more and rays of warmth will return.  The boil mellows.  Peace returns.  I feel scarred and worn and saved.